What I believe in having a plan rather than expectations: A lesson from study abroad

I have noticed that people often confuse "having a plan" for expectations. Having a plan means you know what you will do next and you may have made some modifications along the way. Having expectations on the other hand, is knowing you have a plan BUT you refuse to be flexible about your plans. Having expectations is like having unrealistic plan A with a less than optimum plan B and/or plan C. It feels as though you are putting so much of your heart and soul into one thing that you cannot envision other possibilities. What provokes me to write this sentiment is the unpredictability of the opportunities, blessings, successes, and failures my time in another country has brought to me. For example, I never thought I would have the opportunity to teach English to 10th grade students and learn about the Taiwanese education system from the perspective of the kids I am teaching. I have realized that I like to teach and mentor students. That was an opportunity to learn about what I like to do and what I don't like to do!

 You see, I am so used to having a strong control over the outcome of my decisions to the point where I valued predictability but then I realized that I was unfulfilled (this was in high school). Although predictability comforted my mind, I did not feel happy with it. I wanted to try things that interest me and things that are meaningful to me. I wanted to debate issues of interest and look at issues affecting the world that take place outside of America. I wanted an education that allowed me to inquire deeply about the world and what makes our world so complicated politically, socially, economically, and spiritually. At the same time, as I ventured outside of my comfort zone, these "expectations" I had of me did not disappear. The expectation of finding a successful career after graduation and becoming stable right away. I am starting to notice how much of this is fading away because I realized that there is so much more I need to learn about myself than previously thought. I need to learn much more about what else motivates me.

My study abroad journey has provided me some answers as to how I react to the world around me but it has left many more questions. First of all, why do I fear unpredictability even though I think it offers a life of variety? Will it lead me to a path where I initially did not think about being? If so, why do I fear this? Can this be a blessing in disguise?