After Leaving and Coming Back to the U.S. of A
I left Taiwan on June 27, 2013 but everyday as I wake up I feel as though it was just yesterday that I left Taiwan. Honestly, I can't get over it so much so that I find myself flipping through my entire blog and my photos that I have saved on my laptop to revisit the memories. It's one of the only ways that makes me smile because they happened,but at the same time looking at these pictures brings tears to my eyes because these memories won't come back. I have also been dreaming of Taiwan every time I sleep. I keep seeing the same places I visited, my host-university, my friends and classmates, and of course some ambassadors. Sometimes I even wonder why my mom keeps popping up in those dreams! This another way that my mind keeps these memories so fresh but it also tells me one thing that it's hard not to have a longing for what I had experienced there.
For the past three weeks since departing Taiwan, I kept repeating the Dr.Seuss quote to myself that reads like this: " Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." I have noticed that I am beginning to take this quote in and internalize it pretty well. A journey like the one I made in Taiwan will not come back, so why waste your time crying? Crying changes nothing and brings back nothing. It only keeps me longing for what may never come back. I am learning little-by-little to see my experience as something that tells me to change what is in the moment and to keep looking forward to new things because no matter how traumatized or fulfilled we were in the past, life keeps moving forward.
"Life is all about making transitions and learning how to deal with these transitions emotionally."
I think it was Confucius that said that there is nothing constant but change and that's true. It didn't take a study abroad trip to realize this but the trip did provoke my mind to notice changes while going to Taiwan and coming back. I noticed changes in the way I behaved around others and how I reacted to the familiar while coming back. What I came to realize is experiencing culture shock is no easier than experiencing reverse culture shock because both are equally difficult experiences to go through. People are left behind, friendships change, we crave what is familiar (or what was once unfamiliar), and other heart breaking things. In spite of all this, one always has to make transitions because no part of our life really lasts forever. Life is all about making transitions and learning how to deal with these transitions emotionally.
How I am dealing with reverse culture shock
1. Keeping a positive attitude: What keeps me going is keeping a positive attitude and finding things to enjoy in the moment. When I think positively of my moments in Taiwan and other things I can do to enjoy my time here in the states, it makes my return to the United States easier. In any scenario of life, keeping a positive attitude makes the situation much more bearable even though it is difficult. I think our happiness depends not on the external circumstances but on our internal attitude towards such circumstances.
2. Applying transferable skills: In Taiwan, I learned how to be more independent, more open minded, more willing to try things outside of my comfort zone, becoming more confident in myself, and learning to trust myself. Ever since I have come back, I have become more fearless in doing things I once hesitated to do. I have to say that I am not very confident about my driving skills since coming back because I lost practice BUT I have been re-gaining them by driving around more often. I am confronting my lack of confidence and practicing a skill that I lost temporarily. I have noticed that I am making good progress!
3. Keeping in touch with my friends in Taiwan: Keeping in touch with my friends there has made things easier because we always share how much we miss each other and share how we look forward to seeing each other in the future. Let's hope we actually do!
All in all, studying abroad is a process that has opened my eyes to both worlds--the United States and Taiwan, both of which are quite different. The collision of the two cultures made for a beautiful life experience and lesson in that differences and uncertainty are nothing to be afraid of but to be embraced.
